He's here. I fucking knew he was haunting my ass.

VERGIL

I have a rash.

And the more I think about it, the more I am totally convinced this is Vergil's fault. His ass is haunting me already, and that? Is unfuckingcool.

Okay, if I wanted everything to smell girly, I'd go to a goddamn whorehouse. Seriously.

Fucking flowers.

Edit: Okay. I take that back. It's weird, but it could be worse. It could be huge gloopy piles of...I dunno, hair gel.

Son Of Edit: That's it, I'm making myself a lei.

Okay, so, what did YOU learn today, Dante?

Well, I know one fucking thing: It is GOOD to be flying free and solo on this one not that I'd exactly mind if one certain idiotic twin brother of mine hadn't decided to take an advance ticket out of the world of the living, you dig? It'd be NICE, yes, NICE to have his fucking nerdy, know-it-all input in all of this shit.. I mean, what a bunch of...

You know what? No. I'm not going there. First things first, however, this place fucking blows, and I still haven't found JUST THE RIGHT mud puddle to drown myself in. Oh buddy, but WHEN I DO...

Edit: You know what would be AWESOME? Those little gummy lifesavers. Seriously.

I dunno, maybe it's just me, but...

This is some seriously fucked up shit.

I want Lady and beer and pizza and a porno.